Kindness Matters
When I see frequent references to a concept or topic suddenly appearing all over social media or hear a term popping up everywhere in presentations or interviews, I always perk up and register the phenomenon; it makes me want to wonder out loud if there is a need out there somewhere to grapple with this particular issue. Recently the concept of kindness seems to be the new “it” idea, poking up everywhere I look—from business articles asking the boss to be more compassionate when assigning large projects, to my doctor’s office where I encountered waiting rooms plastered with (mostly handmade) signs and posters urging people to be kind. As I consider what seems to be a rising wave of interest in decency and warmth, I find myself curious about whether or not we just want to talk about it or perhaps act on it?
Most references to kindness describe it as the way we aspire to be or how we wish the world treated us and others. SmarterWisdom’s Jane Moulding’s recent blog (Inner Wisdom Revisited: Jacinda Ardern’s Resignation,) recounted New Zealand’s incredible young leader’s announcement of her resignation following her recognition that “I no longer have enough in the tank” to do justice to [my] job. When probed for what she’d like her fellow citizens to remember about her leadership, she said simply, “as someone who always tried to be kind.”
The sentiment is not, however, limited to leaders. The arrival of 2023 prompted a national magazine to conduct a poll of its Instagram followers regarding their goals for the new year. The overwhelming theme cited by respondents was to be kinder to themselves and others. While an expressed desire for a kinder world is not limited to the current year, the concept has certainly moved to center stage more recently.
And of course center stage is often the world of our work, the place where we spend day after day. In many ways, the idea of integrating kindness into the workplace is a function of the important growing awareness that workers are in fact whole beings, and they bring their whole selves to work.
While an employer may be engaging a worker’s energy, the state of that being’s existence—her physical, emotional, financial and psychological state—all contributes to (or detracts from) the energy she has available to engage productively with her job. Anyone who has tried to perform her work role while experiencing a toothache, or while dealing with a crying baby when her childcare arrangements fell through but the Zoom meeting is still a go, knows that bringing one’s whole (let alone best) self to work is simply not possible when life intrudes in distracting or painful ways. And while being treated decently might not remove these distractions, surely it helps our employee feel less alone, more appreciated, and more whole!
There is also no doubt that being treated with kindness is an aspect of building and maintaining psychological safety within the workplace; a desire that all employees want and need from their organizations. The interest in kindness is a logical—although perhaps less obvious—offshoot of that awareness. Kindness is not a benefit like health insurance or paid sick leave that an employer can mandate by executive fiat. How then might the value of kindness become an integral norm for the workplace?
SmarterWisdom sees many routes to this desirable goal. Here are four simple, practical ways to encourage kind behavior in your working culture:
1. Build it and they will come. Structure can do quite a bit of the heavy lifting in encouraging kindness at work. One of our clients instituted a campaign to acknowledge employees going above and beyond for each other (and the company, an important, although unnamed beneficiary of the activity.) This organization’s effort uses small plastic trolls as symbols of this value: when wandering through their facility or while on Zoom calls, these little characters are visible around employees’ offices, on desks and window sills, or stuck to the top edges of computer screens. Trolls are the Oscars of this enterprise, and the employees of the company are the Academy. Each employee is given the same limited number of figures to offer to their colleagues in the course of a year, and receiving one has become a coveted—albeit goofy—honor. Sure, the recognition is a small funny-looking rubber creature with a tuft of wild hair, but it is a symbol of a shared value: “You really came through for me.” It sends a message that not only is this employee an individual worth appreciating and celebrating, but also that anyone can be one. Perhaps the most important point here is in fact that any staff member can receive this award from their peers for taking the right action.
2. Say you value kindness and show you mean it. During goal setting with employees, specify not only what is to be delivered, but clearly articulate your organization’s commitment to a culture of kindness and what that looks like when an employee is performing job functions in alignment with that value. In some cases, be clear about what the organization will NOT accept, as well. At the initial session for a new group of executive education students at a highly regarded business school, each program kicks off with a presentation on the institution’s values. Once that has been articulated, an example of an actual violation of each value is shared. The presentation leaves no room for doubt regarding the organization’s seriousness about the boundaries of acceptable behavior. Build your organization’s behavioral expectations into its performance management format and set up your reward structure to treat good behavior like any other performance goal commitment.
3. Walk the talk. Modeling kind behavior is one of the best ways to spread this cultural norm. That is especially true when well-respected or high-ranking individuals demonstrate kindness. Proudly showing kindness catapults that behavior into public view and its use by influential people can become contagious. It becomes a signal of strength and success within the enterprise, and an identified badge of honor. To make kindness a new norm, make kindness the rule, not the exception. Showing it proudly both reminds employees of its importance and makes it a value to be held top of mind.
4. Hire for it. Some of you might know the book The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't (Sutton, 2010) in which the idea of you not hiring individuals who fit that description was promoted. While all candidates have the potential to learn to “work kind,” why not make that value something you actively seek in the hiring process? For example, ask a job candidate for a description of a time when he went out of his way to be kind to a fellow employee.
There is no doubt in SmarterWisdom’s mind that deepening the focus on kindness in the workplace makes sense—as I recall the sprinklings of references to this concept in my reading and work over the past year, I realize it truly is a no brainer! Kindness does make the world a better place. Having a world leader name being kind as something she wants to be remembered for, elevates this necessity even higher. The giving and receiving of a kind action creates a reciprocal connection that brings us together for the common good, and makes us want to come to work.