Posts in Empathy
Which One?

Deciding on your dessert at a lovely evening out with friends can be hard. Is it the lemon mousse with white and dark chocolate? The strawberry shortcake? Tarte Tatin? Blackberry or peach sorbet? OK, you might make a choice you regret, or it just may not arrive and look or taste as you expected, but seriously this is not a complex decision: you won’t let anyone down, you can’t really make a bad decision here. Your dessert decision is simply a matter of choice, your choice alone. According to some scientific research, adults make around 35,000 conscious decisions every day, while others estimate that number to be as high as 350,000. Deciding on the initial path to take ,and the nature of the decision, whether it be a simple choice of sweet, or more, is definitely a huge part of our lives as leaders.

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The Existence of the Soul

Recently with my friend and colleague Julie Faulstich, of Stonycreek Strategy, I led a group of senior women administrators from independent schools in a yearlong seminar called: Female Leadership, Finding your Authentic Authority. We enjoyed deep and wide-ranging conversations; we unraveled dilemmas and we discussed the potential isolation of perhaps being the only one in the role of dean, assistant head, or division head, that is a middle manager and reporting to the head of school. Being in the middle in any kind of organization, is not always easy and the work these middle managers do frequently goes unnoticed—and yet without that work, the organization would suffer. So here’s SmarterWisdom’s tribute to the ones in the middle—to their very existence, and, even more perhaps: to our paying more attention to what they do and how important it is.

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An All-Around Good Idea

n efforts to ensure that leaders at all levels receive helpful feedback, supervisors and trustees frequently look to the power of the 360 review. This is a process designed to elicit developmental feedback from a range of sources 360 degrees around the participant, with the goal of delivering honest and authentic data about a leader’s work from multiple perspectives; this approach closely reflects the actual up, down and sideways working relationships that characterize how most employees actually work today.

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Crisis, What Crisis?

During my 20+ years of leadership at independent schools, I definitely faced the full range of crises that might beset small schools. I learned a lot about being both somewhat prepared for these exigent events, and also about being totally unprepared and yet somehow able to invoke the necessary actions and skills to get things on the level again. Initially, and in much of my early experience of these big bumps in the road, I tended to think that crisis was always something like a chemical spill on Route 128 very close to the school. Over the years, however, I learned, and internalized, that a crisis could develop from any event or incident that might adversely affect the mission of the school, if left unattended.

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Up In The Air

The silver lining to the pandemic’s very dark cloud is that many of us successfully learned to face new threats, see new opportunities (sourdough bread, anyone?) and understand our world in a different way. As a result, even the change-averse among us learned that we can successfully change at least a selected set of our behaviors. Now that the world has rebounded in many areas and shifted to permanent changes in others, it is worthwhile to review our current choices in light of the present-day context. If we don’t identify and articulate our changed work-related behaviors, we are not optimizing our ability to adjust and adapt.

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Welcome Change

Change isn’t easy for some of us; we resist and worry and wonder. While for others it is in their DNA and they cannot wait for the next moment to shift gears. Change, however, typically signifies growth and without growth we run the risk of stagnation. Wherever you are on the REMAIN/ CHANGE spectrum, the fact is that change is constant. Whether you are an easy adopter of change, or whether you tend to avoid change, learning how to predict change, harness change and live a change friendly life, will help you avoid stress and mental anguish and basically make you a better member of your team.

 

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Leading Yourself

Your personal drive or decision even to care about leading yourself is a key first step of self-knowledge. Is the desire to lead myself  within me? Do I want to do this? Leading ourselves is the element of our approach to our work where we think and act explicitly in order to become better at what we do. It explains who we are, where we want to go and why we want to go there. It helps us understand what we might accomplish in our work. Ideally it might also help us control our emotions and behavior, since it brings focus and ideally razor-sharp vision to our work. SmarterWisdom sees its work with emerging leaders as helping them to access this deeper knowledge of their intrinsic motivation. Some leaders however struggle to understand the importance of further analyzing and capitalizing on their drive as part of leading themselves.

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Gifts of Time and Place

One of the oft-cited reasons for return-to-work resistance is the time and effort of commuting, which, for many employees, constitutes their least favorite part of their work week. After having worked from home, the daily stress of racing for a train, waiting for a bus, or sitting in backed-up traffic strikes a lot of workers as a foolish use of their resources, which are, after all, finite. Whether it is the cost to their wellbeing of stress-triggered cortisol coursing through their bodies as they rush to get dressed, grab a bite or swig a quick cup of coffee, and get themselves  (and anyone else for whom they are responsible) out the door, or making the return trip, conducted after a full day of labor, through the crowds and the traffic, many employees report the sense of watching the sands of their precious time running through the hourglass twice each day. They know the commuting routine consumes valuable time and generates a daily level of unwanted, unhealthy stress.  

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Know Thyself

Self-awareness is certainly a key element in being effective at your work. What is tough about tackling self-awareness, however, is that it is rarely identified by the person being mentored as an area of challenge: understanding one's level of self-awareness is inherently difficult, since it is obviously dependent on the level of self-awareness you possess in the first place. The ability to know yourself and to know how you are viewed by others is key for success. The internal and external mirrors that exist within and outside of us needs to be activated, made shiny and clear, and available at all times in order for any kind of growth and personal development to take place.

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Working Friendships

By the latter stages of the pandemic, when many of us had been working from home for close to a year, we ached for more connection. We missed the ready-made interactions in the office and the various low-key ways we tried to see friends and families during our free time.  Perhaps this renewed attention to significant others in our lives was partly because we had to decide actively, and with intention, to cultivate and find these moments. We thought about our friends, missed them terribly and reached out frequently over the video waves in order to feel connected at a time of great loss. Without the ease of existing relationships, in pretty much most aspects of our lives during the height of Covid, we felt bereft and at sea; we perceived that something was lost and unavailable. 

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Inner Wisdom Revisited: Jacinda Ardern's Resignation

In February 2020, SmarterWisdom posted Inner Wisdom Personified: Jacinda Ardern, about New Zealand’s Prime Minister, who was elected in 2017, aged 37. Last week, upon the news of Ardern’s decision not to seek reelection, I thought about the words she used in her resignation speech, that “[she] no longer had enough in the tank to do the job.” I wondered if Ardern’s brand of leadership required more in the tank than that of other leaders; I wondered if she felt she had any choice. In the 2/20 Words of Wisdom post, I argued that Ardern was a true servant leader, not someone seeking personal gain, rather someone leading selflessly in the interests of the country. Since we published that piece, which focused on the massacre in mosques in New Zealand in 2019, Ardern has dealt with the White Island volcanic eruption, and of course the Covid-19 pandemic. She has also experienced a myriad of personal threats, among them many that were seen as ageist and sexist. So while the message from our 2020 post stays the same, we are left with a lot to ponder in connection with Ardern’s decision and the loss to the world of this globally-minded leader.

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The Liminal Landscape: 2022 Revisited

Summing up the past year in terms of themes, trends, new ideas and developments in the workplace proves not as straightforward in 2022 as we might have expected. In fact, SmarterWisdom believes that any new place at which we have arrived this year isn’t about content at all, but rather about state—state of being, state of understanding, state of wonder! It’s a position that perhaps we would benefit from paying close attention to, even though this moment—or space—is liminal. To be in a liminal space is “to be on the precipice of something new but not quite there yet.” A liminal space can be metaphorical, emotional or physical. And for many people, perhaps understandably, it’s an uncomfortable position.

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The Power of Influence

There is no doubt that the pandemic has pushed us all to the brink in many areas: the definitions of work, parenting, schooling, family and friend relationships and even grocery shopping have all changed. SmarterWisdom’s basic philosophy is that within us we have the solutions to many of our problems and that we can always capitalize and make the most of the situation at hand to learn how to approach difficult issues in different ways. In the same way that we faced the recent upheaval in our daily lives, there is little doubt that leaders who were able to access their highly developed soft (or power) skills have not only fared better themselves, but have ensured the success of their teams and workmates.

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London Bridge Has Fallen

Somewhere on Twitter this past week, amidst all the tributes posted out of respect upon her death, I read that Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II was “the first girl boss” (she became Queen at 25 over 70 years ago) and it made me think about what her tenure (she was the world’s longest-serving monarch) might teach us about organizations and leadership. “I cannot lead you into battle,” the Queen said in 1957. “I do not give you laws or administer justice, but I can do something else. I can give you my heart and my devotion to these old islands, and to all the peoples of our brotherhood of nations.”

In fact, it is perhaps easier to think of what kind of leader the Queen was not, rather than align her with a corporate title: not a chief executive officer, a president or a director. Given the length of her service and the ways in which she established the idea of monarchy in peacetime, she seems like more of a founding partner than CEO; and because of her work away from day-to-day operations, she is more like a board chair than senior manager. It is actually quite difficult to find a good analogy for the role of the Queen as a leader, and yet leader she was, as monarch and head of state.

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Time and Its Essence

One of SmarterWisdom’s core approaches to our leadership consulting work is to help leaders prioritize among the myriad of bright shiny things that beckon them each day. Step one is to prioritize, and step two is to stay true to the path you set for yourself.

So how do you prioritize? A good first step is to consider your work in levels, or as the McKinsey article suggests, gears, that is low, medium and high. Examine all the major projects that you are involved in—which takes precedence, what is next, and so on. If you stay focused on less important, mid-level tasks, you are likely to be stuck in medium gear. Yes, you can tootle along getting stuff done, but both you and your vehicle are not turning on the high-power capability that will allow you to move faster and cover more ground—and dive deeper. As a leader in your organization, you want to be in high gear a lot of the time. Think of high gear on the freeway and the large distances covered. Yes, you need to be paying more attention to your driving—but you will get you and your passengers to more places.

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Engage and Make It So!

A standout article in Fast Company in their Leadership Now section (July 11, 2022) especially inspired our deeper thinking about why supporting and engaging Gen Z-ers, in particular, is so important. For leaders and managers to adopt behaviors and create structures to help create the most productive settings for the Zs will clearly be worthwhile. Paying attention to the generational cohorts that exist in your organization might be a good starting point—for example, we know that different ages and life stages often seek different benefits as part of their compensation packages; might that be a good general starting place for your human resource officers?

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Building on a Soft Foundation

There is no doubt that the pandemic has pushed us all to the brink in many areas: the definitions of work, parenting, schooling, family and friend relationships and even grocery shopping have all changed. SmarterWisdom’s basic philosophy is that within us we have the solutions to many of our problems and that we can always capitalize and make the most of the situation at hand to learn how to approach difficult issues in different ways. In the same way that we faced the recent upheaval in our daily lives, there is little doubt that leaders who were able to access their highly developed soft (or power) skills have not only fared better themselves, but have ensured the success of their teams and workmates.

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Whisper Words of Wisdom

The Beatles’ 1970 album, Let It Be, hit the record stores when I was a junior in high school in the UK. “The Long and Winding Road” brought tears to my eyes and became my go-to Beatles ballad for a very long time. In his new documentary, “Get Back,” Peter Jackson chronicles the making of this seminal album over a period of days and in doing so, according to a wonderful recent article from The Economist, reveals some reliable and creative thinking about an effective team of four.

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Hiring Bringing on a 19th Nervous Breakdown?

The hiring process is filled with hopes, fears and expectations on all sides. Hiring someone is a challenging process---especially in this labor market---and everyone is eager to get a good person on board. Candidates themselves bring their own dreams and watch-outs to their job searches, and, at least right now, the market is in their favor. What is aligned across all participants in the process (at least in most situations) is that everyone is eager for a positive outcome. Of course, exactly what that vision looks like may not be fully shared by both the candidate and the hiring manager. In many cases, it isn’t even shared across the hiring committee.

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Wonderland 2021: Our Top 5 Takeaways

A year ago, in one of our posts, SmarterWisdom enjoyed describing 2020 as an exceptional year. We have since been toying with how to label 2021—and Alice in Wonderland came to mind: topsy turvy, a croquet field where the balls are live hedgehogs? Definitely. Through the Looking Glass, with a grinning Cheshire Cat! For sure. So here we go: the crazy journey of the year behind us…

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